this morning
I found the SP tube completely un-sutured. Yep. the all-important
bladder drain is not secured to his body any more.
Feelings:
That had to hurt! How did this happen?! I should have taped it more!
How on earth are we going to make it 5 more weeks?!!!
Called
the nurse. Cried on the phone. Nothing to be done but tape tape tape.
Diligently tape. said it's like the skin just wants to spit those
sutures out.
____
yesterday
Owen
was getting really tired. I put him down for a nap in our bed since
his complaining was sure to wake Zane sleeping in the boys' room.
Owen, emphatically: "I want the doctors at Riley to go to their homes and get a spank from their mommies!"
Me, not sure what to make of this: "Why would you want them to have a spank?"
Owen, in tears: "Because they were naughty to me!!!! They gave me owies!"
breaks my heart. hiding my tears. let him cry it out.
tried
to explain that his doctors are very kind. that they are trying to
help him. That they take good care of him. that it hurts for a while,
but they will help him get all better and help him be able to use the
potty and wear underpants.
this is hard.
he doesn't get it. he just knows it sucks.
and it does.
_____
blessed
so many people offering help. encouragement.
my sister Kim stayed with us for 3 days. super big help!
today is my first day on my own.
older two kids off with friends.
thankful for meals from friends.
thankful for calls to check in.
thankful for encouraging texts.
we are blessed.
____
funny how I am doing fine. really fine. and then emotion just spills out over the smallest thing. It is a process.
a long road.
this is week one.
ready to run the marathon?
feels more like crawl.
just want to hurry it up.
but there's just more hurry up and wait.
isn't that how life always is though?
Nothing to complain about.
God has been faithful before, He will be faithful again. to carry us through.
just breathe.
"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
Lamentations 3:22-24
By Marne Dekkers — Aug 2, 2012 10:11am
ReplyDeleteKeep running, Jen! You are doing great even if you are crawling at times. You are still moving forward and that's what counts! Praying for Owen's sweet little heart even though he can't make sense of this.
By Carrie Holt — Aug 2, 2012 2:45pm
ReplyDeleteI did chuckle a bit at Owen's comment about the doctors needing a spank! It's so funny how kids process information - makes you realize that they are just kids - not little aduls!!
I'm sorry this is so hard - a marathon isa great analogy - it will be so worth it in the end. Praying!
love and hugs,
Carrie
By becky sorg — Aug 2, 2012 7:27pm
ReplyDeleteSo sorry - for OWEN and YOU and ERIC and the other kids too. This has been a very difficult and painful ordeal. WE ARE PRAYING for his healing and for his pain to go away. We know what a fighter and tough little guy he has been through all his procedures, operations, dr. visits and etc. It is so heartbreaking for us to hear about and mommy and daddy are living it. Prayers for all of you. We are praising God that Owen has such wonderful parents.