Four

Today is Owen's 4th birthday.

It started off good.  Owen woke up at 6:00!  Normally I would not be sounding so happy about this, but he has slept late every day since last Thursday with headaches.

We gave him his birthday present from the family... little Bob the Builder machines.  He was sooooo excited.  He (and Zane and Kate) spent the next 2 1/2 hours (yes, that's right, 2 1/2 hours) playing with them in a cookie sheet of rice.   Ah, the simple things.  A mess was made, but it was great to see him having so much fun.

We switched his Cone Enema time to morning.  I realized that evenings around here are less consistent than our mornings.  so mornings it is.  Plus, that's when he usually...er... goes.  ;)

So the kids watched a short Thomas video in the bathroom while I de-riced the kitchen.   Thank goodness for a DVD set chock full of 15 minute Thomas episodes.  perfect for potty time!

We also have devised a sticker chart much like we used for potty training Liam.  To help keep him excited about using the potty.  (His attitude is already waning day 4.)

Owen did have a headache around 10 this morning and wanted to lay down.  fell asleep ON the train tracks playing with Thomas.   Woke him up for lunch and sent him to school.

He did fine yesterday at school.   I really kind of think he has some level of headache nearly all the time, but the "episodes" are when it gets really bad.  That's why I've gone ahead and sent him to school.  Life keeps going.   There's not much we can do about the headaches right now.  Until it becomes "obvious" what's going on. (I can hope right?)

t's just a different level of "Owen".  Like he's only 80% himself most of the time.  A little grouchy, playing laying down a lot, but otherwise pretty normal.

Once in a while I think he feels absolutely fine, and you see that 100% sunshiney Owen come through.  But when he actually says his head hurts when he's having an episode, it's like he's like at 50% or less of "normal Owen".   His coping level goes way way down.  He's super grumpy. (I would be too).  He can't seem to think straight.  He is not himself.  He sleeps.

I hate it.  absolutely hate it.

How do you deal with that?  Do you make him do stuff like go to school and church and the grocery store if he's miserable—even just a little bit miserable?   Should he get punished for loosing his cool when he brother bumps him with a train?   How much should I let slide because he doesn't feel good?  Do I hold him and cuddle him (what I want to do) when he gets upset after getting in trouble or a tussle with his brother? or is that rewarding naughty behavior?

Life has to keep going.  it is a tricky road to hoe, that's for sure.  I'm not sure I get it right most of the time.  But we're trying our best over here.

_____

Well,  this post was supposed to be about Owen's birthday.  And while today is shaping up to be a good day (save my whining above), I have been thinking a lot today about his Birth Day.

January 26, 2007.

wow, what a day that was.  I'm crying just picturing the moment I met my little boy.  He was delivered by C-section at University Hospital in Indianapolis.  It was so surreal.   I remember he let out a big cry right away.  Music to my ears.

The words of his diagnosing doctor 3 months prior were shattered that day.  "...He has multiple birth defects. Probably a chromosomal abnormality. He may not survive outside the womb.  If he does he could be a vegetable.  He will never walk. He will never be normal.  He may be mentally retarded.  We're not talking any kind of quality of life here."

Those morbid predictions of a mere man November 1, 2006 (yes. I remember that day very clearly)  have been blown out of the water by our God.

4 years later a bright, cheerful, healthy, sweet and adorable little boy walked out my front door and got on a school bus.

Redefining Spina Bifida.  I think so.

Helping to define HOPE in this world.  I know so.

For four years now I've told Owen's story on this site.  But really it is God's story.  Because of how God made Owen 3 other babies with Spina Bifida are alive today—not aborted as their doctors suggested—because GOD chose to use Owen for HIS glory.

In John 9 Jesus disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"  Jesus replied, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."

I love that verse.

What man tends to see as a defect, a hopeless situation—God intended for good.

I am proud to be Owen's mom for many reasons, but when I look back over the last 4 years I am overwhelmed by the opportunities God has lain before us.  We are blessed.

Does that mean I am glad he has spina bifida?  NO.  There are many times I absolutely hate it.  It is really tough some times.  Really really tough.  But I would not trade Owen for the world.

Happy Birthday, baby.