so here we go.
___
First
off, I'd like to mention another little boy. His name is Mark Oehler.
He was 11 years old and he died this week. I didn't really know Mark.
His family attends our church. I only recently met him. I have
something in common with his mom, more than just homeschooling—knowing
what it's like to watch your son deal with the affects of
Hydrocephalus. Mark died of complications of a shunt malfunction Monday.
His mom, Amy, followed Owen's story here on
caringbridge before I knew her. She would write me such sweet and
insightful and prayer-filled notes. One in particular I remember I got
right before Owen went in for his Detethering and Decompression
surgeries. It was like a salve for my aching soul. Never underestimate
the power of a timely word of love.
Eric and I
attended Mark's memorial service Friday. Oh, what a testimony of faith
in the midst of pain that little boy had! He was born at 24 weeks and
had 19 surgeries, mostly related to his hydrocephalus. Seeing all the
pictures of his very full and well-lived life and hearing the loving
letters to him from his mom and dad brought tears for both Eric and I.
Hits home. And it hits hard.
When I had
told my kids about Mark's passing Liam began to piece things together
later asking, "Mom, what's that bump on the back of Owens head?" (Well,
he knows very well what it is.)
"It's his shunt, honey."
"Isn't that what you said Mark had too?"
"Yep. But you don't have to worry. God has every day we live planned out before we were even born."
That
seemed to satisfy him for now. I knew I could't promise him that
nothing like that would ever happen to Owen. That darn shunt. It keeps
my boy alive and it is a fickle beast.
Mark's
three younger siblings were used to him going off to the hospital...
and then coming back home. But he didn't this time. That hits home.
One
thing I think I'll do differently because of knowing Mark is make sure
my kids all actually say goodbye to Owen when he heads off to surgery. A
simple thing. I think I've almost became too comfortable with
surgery.... is that possible? Not giving the fragility of life the
respect it deserves.
There are no promises in
this life. I could get hit by a car tomorrow. All the more reason to
make my faith sure. Mark knew his Savior. Do you? God is Sovereign
over all creation. Over every day of Mark's life. Over every day of
Owen's life. Over every day of yours and mine.
I
take it back, when I said there are no promises in this life—There is
one thing for sure. We are all going to die. We will all spend
eternity somewhere. And God promises that "if you confess with
your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised
him from the dead, you will be saved. Everyone who calls on the name of
the Lord will be saved." (Romans 10:9,13)
Our
hearts continue to break for the Oehler family. Today at church I
finally got a chance to talk with Amy. As I approached she was quickly
scanning the foyer, like I do so often, to make sure she knew where all
her kids were. 1, 2, 3... "Oh my." she said with a sigh, "I was just
looking for Mark." Yes, the loss of Mark will be felt in their lives in
so many ways. Please pray for them. They have a long journey of grief
to travel. Not a grief without HOPE, but it is painful nonetheless.
As I told her how sorry I was I also said, "...and I'm not going to tell you how strong you are or how amazing
you are." She nodded an understanding nod, and said she'd been getting
so much of that she wanted to hang a sign on her chest that said WEAK.
(I know the feeling.) "But HE is strong in our weakness isn't he?" I
said. "I just wanted to say, thank you for being FAITHFUL in it."
What more can you say? To God be the glory.
____
Okay, whew. I think I'll start my fall updates in the next post.
By Amy Oehler — Oct 25, 2011 8:44pm
ReplyDeleteJen, thank you for writing this. Sentiments from a mom who understands so much of our trials. I hope that your entry will cause others to think. Can I use this to post on FB/ print for others?
Thank you, new friend,
Amy Oehler (Mark's mom)